Due to circumstances beyond our control—either that freak thunderstorm a/k/a passing light
shower that hit Crystal Lake yesterday
or Russian sabotage, take your pick—power was lost to the headquarters of the vast Heretic,
Rebel media empire for about 20
hours and we were unable to provide
today’s pithy and insightful blog post. Wide
spread panic and mourning has been
reported.
We
apologize for the inconvenience. For a full
refund for your lost day’s service,
send a self-addressed stamped envelope
and a crisp $100 bill to corporate
headquarters. Thank you.
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