It turned out to be a gloriously lovely May day when Maureen Murfin and Kevin Rotter tied the knot at the Tree of Life Unitarian Universalist Congregation in McHenry.
By reports it was everything the bride hoped it would be as she planned
the event for months and
insisted on putting it on for about the cost of a third grade end of year party. It was relaxed, informal, quirky, and had the
spirit of hey-gang-lets-get-together-and-put-on-a-show-in-the-old-barn.
Maureen and Kevin were surrounded by
family and friends who all rolled up their sleeves and pitched in. The bride summed up her feelings on Facebook after, “Wow. Just wow… It was
incredible to be so surrounded with love and friendly faces. So grateful to you
all!”
 |
| The Old Man does his duty. |
Maureen’s cousin Ira S. Murfin officiated with aplomb.
His thoughtful and insightful words of welcome, introduction, and recognition
of the unique bond that was being affirmed in a community of love were of worthy of any minister.
 |
| At the altar |
Oldest
sister Carolynne Larsen-Fox shared a reading by Bob Marley. The estimable Emmy Bean sang a song selected by Mom Kathy-Brady Murfin—Noel Paul Stookey’s lovely and ethereal
Wedding
Son (There is Love.)
 | |
| Emmy Bean sings! |
The Old Man could not let the occasion get away without annoying the
couple and the assembly with a poem, reproduced below.
After the ceremony, a couple of
toasts, and a first dance by the
couple and a rough spin with the Old
Man folks could spread out over the
church and grounds for all sorts of activities—coloring,
a crafts project, table games inside and piñatas, children’s games outside.
Many just mingled in the
sunshine basking in the day.
 |
| Most of the Bride's close kin--The Old Man, Kathy Brady-Murfin, Heather Larsen, Maureen Rotter, Randy Larsen, Kenny Pearson, Carolynne Larsen-Fox, Caiti Pearson. |
All
hands pitched in to restoring the sanctuary
and the church almost as good as
new for services today.
Afterwards Kathy and I joined Arlene and Michael Brennan, Ira and Emmy, Kenny
Pearson, Heather Larsen, and Caiti Larsen for dinner at the Village Squire
in McHenry.
What a happy day.
 |
| Kevin and Maureen Rotter. |
Marriage Manual
For Maureen and Kevin
May 28, 2016
Throw this away and
flee,
along
with anything like it
from the slick magazines
and internet.
There are no magic
keys.
no one-size-fits-all.
Your marriage is as
unique—
and as fragile—
as a snowflake
on your nose.
Wear love lightly on
your shoulders,
a spring wrap as the sun sets,
do not let it burden
or encumber you.
Do not set out to
test or measure it,
lay traps and pitfalls.
What you suspect you
can make true.
Trust as far as you
can,
and maybe a scosh beyond.
Forgive quickly all
that is not unforgivable—
violence, abuse,
domination.
I do not believe in
Original Sin,
but I am sure we were all
born to be assholes
on our worst days
and need to be cut
a little slack because
we surprise ourselves
by being better
more often than not.
Play. A lot,
don’t forget to enjoy each other
so that the endless days of blech
of rut, routine,
and all of the crap you will do
because you have to
and the laundry will not
take care of itself.
You will surely be
poor,
you may become rich.
Take note that
beyond some stress
you will be as happy
or as sad as you
make yourselves.
Leave room for
others,
stupid songs aside,
it is not me and you
against the world.
Have friends, cherish
family
even the ones who
annoy you—
maybe especially
them.
Be kind to
strangers.
welcome the hungry
to share your
macaroni and cheese.
Care about those you
will
never see or meet.
That’s it from the
Old Man,
it’s all I’ve got.
And remember I failed
at
each and every
one of these.
—Patrick Murfin
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