Remembering With Pride One Fine Sunday Morning at Tree of Life

The Rev. Sean Parker Dennison, then minister of the Tree of Life Unitarian Universalist Congregation in McHenry, introducing the marriage ceremony to a packed sanctuary.

Note—Not only is it LGBTQ Pride Month which is observed here in McHenry County by Woodstock Pride Fest going on today, but it also marks an Illinois milestone victory for Marriage Equality and a joyful, pioneering wedding ceremony at Tree of Life Unitarian Universalist Congregation in McHenry.  We dip into the blog archives for this report posted the day after the big event.

Triumphant.  It can be a word with unpleasant overtones.  Kind of an I-win-you-lose-stick-it-where-the-sun-don’t-shine gloat.  But I don’t mean it that way.  I don’t want to stick my thumb in any eye or rub salt into the wounds of those who stood in the way.  I only want to shout joy to the rooftops.

The eight women who stood up at the Tree of Life Unitarian Universalist Congregation in McHenry yesterday had triumphed.  As the Rev. Sean Parker Dennison pointed out, their collective 81 years of love and commitment to each other could finally be validated by the State of Illinois.  And that love and commitment could be shared at the joint wedding ceremony hosted by the congregation Sunday morning.

All the friends and family of each couple had triumphed, too.  The ones that had not only accepted but had treasured.

The Congregation, which had declared it support of Marriage Equality a decade ago, which had long embraced some of the couples and other members of the LGBTQ community when finding a safe church home in McHenry County was challenging, which had publicly Stood on the Side of Love in the campaign to make Marriage Equality come to Illinois triumphed.  Helping to bring this event to reality was our finest hour.

The whole wider community—even those who professed horror at the possibility whether they know it now or not—has triumphed.  The scattered parts have been gathered into the whole, the circle of love extended, the value of family, real family, has been affirmed.

And judging from the rare and stunningly perfect day in June, the Lord God Jehovah himself or however you choose to name and characterize The Greater—was mightily pleased.

I would like to let the four remarkable couples speak for themselves.  From the introductions they wrote which were included in the Order of Service.

 

Jodi Kuperman and Megan Meyer met 10 years ago through a friend. They moved together months later as friends so Jodi could help Megan with her kids. It took them few years to become a couple but in that time they had many ups and downs. They have 3 wonderful children; Amanda 22 who is married to Tim who is proudly serving our county in the army; Matthew who is 11 and our boy boy; and Hailey who is 9 and a mini Megan.  Amanda blessed us with a beautiful granddaughter Elsie Anne who grandma and bubby love to death! They feel they are the ying to the other’s yang!

Theresa Castino lives in Round Lake with her partner of 22 years, Mary Kuhn, and their 3 furry kids (Samson the cat, Cassidy the floppy mutt, and Frankie the wonder pug). Theresa works as a web content manager. Her interests include photography, writing, football, and music. Mary’s hobbies include traveling, reading, and gardening. She currently works for Automated Health Systems as a customer service rep enrolling people in state health plans.

 

Gale Harris and Deb Glaubke were introduced by friends at a party in April 1988.  By the end of May they had moved in together and have been a couple for 26 years.  Their first commitment ceremony was in 1989, after a year of “making sure” they were compatible, by hanging wallpaper together and building aviaries in the living room.  The latter idea turned out to be not so excellent, as the 28 finches, four cockatiels, 2 love birds, and one red lori joined in conversation any time the television or record player came on. Both Gale and Deb have worked in human services for most of their careers. Deb worked as an on-call crisis counselor for 16 years, and Gale is a cognitive psychotherapist with decades of experience. In 2012 they were the 40th same sex couple to join in a civil union, and were the first couple at the Woodstock Government Building in Woodstock to apply for a marriage license on June 1.  They have lived in Woodstock for 15 years, and are co-founders of Gallery in the Garden, an annual art show which raises money for local charities. Currently their household consists of themselves, five dogs and four cats—none of which is invited to the wedding.

Mary Fleming and Barb Oesterle have been attending this church since 1989. They have been an awesome duo who taught OWL and youth group for many years. They support one another and play on each other's strengths.  Most of all, they love to laugh and have fun. Mary Ellen and Barb have been together for 25 years. Mary recently made the comment that many other couples are getting divorced at their age and they are getting married!  Barb will be changing her last name to Fleming.

Finally, I would like to express my pride in the community of our congregation which came together to put on a fabulous wedding and reception.  The volunteer efforts were Herculean and undertaken with a cheerfulness and joy that was inspirational. 

Couples and officiants--Theresa Castino, Sam Jones, Mary Kuhn, Sandra Lott, Deb Glaubke, Gale Harris, Rev. Sean Parker Dennison, Jodi Kuperman, Lori Kane, Megan Meyer with granddaughter Elsie Anne, Mary Flemming, Robert Jackson, Barb Flemming.

To quote Rev. Sean, “Shalom, Ashev, Blessed Be.  Gentle people, go in peace.”

 

Remembering With Pride One Fine Sunday at My Church

 

The Rev. Sean Parker Dennison, then minister of the Tree of Life Unitarian Universalist Congregation in McHenry, introducing the marriage ceremony to a packed sanctuary.

Note—Not only is it LGBTQ Pride Month which is observed here in McHenry County by Woodstock Pride Fest, but it also marks an Illinois milestone victory for Marriage Equality and a joyful, pioneering wedding ceremony at Tree of Life Unitarian Universalist Congregation in McHenry.  We dip into the blog archives for this report posted the day after the big event.

Triumphant.  It can be a word with unpleasant overtones.  Kind of an I-win-you-lose-stick-it-where-the-sun-don’t-shine gloat.  But I don’t mean it that way.  I don’t want to stick my thumb in any eye or rub salt into the wounds of those who stood in the way.  I only want to shout joy to the rooftops.

The eight women who stood up at the Tree of Life Unitarian Universalist Congregation in McHenry yesterday had triumphed.  As the Rev. Sean Parker Dennison pointed out, their collective 81 years of love and commitment to each other could finally be validated by the State of Illinois.  And that love and commitment could be shared at the joint wedding ceremony hosted by the congregation Sunday morning.

All of the friends and family of each couple had triumphed, too.  The ones that had not only accepted but had treasured.

The Congregation, which had declared it support of Marriage Equality a decade ago, which had long embraced some of the couples and other members of the LGBTQ community when finding a safe church home in McHenry County was challenging, which had publicly Stood on the Side of Love in the campaign to make Marriage Equality come to Illinois triumphed.  Helping to bring this event to reality was our finest hour.

The whole wider community—even those who professed horror at the possibility whether they know it now or not—has triumphed.  The scattered parts have been gathered into the whole, the circle of love extended, the value of family, real family, has been affirmed.

And judging from the rare and stunningly perfect day in June, the Lord God Jehovah himself or however you choose to name and characterize The Greater—was mightily pleased.

I would like to let the four remarkable couples speak for themselves.  From the introductions they wrote which were included in the Order of Service.

Jodi Kuperman and Megan Meyer met 10 years ago through a friend. They moved together months later as friends so Jodi could help Megan with her kids. It took them few years to become a couple but in that time they had many ups and downs. They have 3 wonderful children; Amanda 22 who is married to Tim who is proudly serving our county in the army; Matthew who is 11 and our boy boy; and Hailey who is 9 and a mini Megan.  Amanda blessed us with a beautiful granddaughter Elsie Anne who grandma and bubby love to death! They feel they are the ying to the other’s yang!

Theresa Castino lives in Round Lake with her partner of 22 years, Mary Kuhn, and their 3 furry kids (Samson the cat, Cassidy the floppy mutt, and Frankie the wonder pug). Theresa works as a web content manager. Her interests include photography, writing, football, and music. Mary’s hobbies include traveling, reading, and gardening. She currently works for Automated Health Systems as a customer service rep enrolling people in state health plans.

Gale Harris and Deb Glaubke were introduced by friends at a party in April 1988.  By the end of May they had moved in together and have been a couple for 26 years.  Their first commitment ceremony was in 1989, after a year of “making sure” they were compatible, by hanging wallpaper together and building aviaries in the living room.  The latter idea turned out to be not so excellent, as the 28 finches, four cockatiels, 2 love birds, and one red lori joined in conversation any time the television or record player came on. Both Gale and Deb have worked in human services for most of their careers. Deb worked as an on-call crisis counselor for 16 years, and Gale is a cognitive psychotherapist with decades of experience. In 2012 they were the 40th same sex couple to join in a civil union, and were the first couple at the Woodstock Government Building in Woodstock to apply for a marriage license on June 1.  They have lived in Woodstock for 15 years, and are co-founders of Gallery in the Garden, an annual art show which raises money for local charities. Currently their household consists of themselves, five dogs and four cats—none of which is invited to the wedding.

Mary Fleming and Barb Oesterle have been attending this church since 1989. They have been an awesome duo who taught OWL and youth group for many years. They support one another and play on each other's strengths.  Most of all, they love to laugh and have fun. Mary Ellen and Barb have been together for 25 years. Mary recently made the comment that many other couples are getting divorced at their age and they are getting married!  Barb will be changing her last name to Fleming.

Finally, I would like to express my pride in the community of our congregation which came together to put on a fabulous wedding and reception.  The volunteer efforts were Herculean and undertaken with a cheerfulness and joy that was inspirational.

Couples & officiants--Theresa Castino, Sam Jones, Mary Kuhn, Sandra Lott, Deb Glaubke, Gale Harris, Rev. Sean Parker Dennison, Jodi Kuperman, Lori Kane, Megan Meyer with granddaughter Elsie Anne, Mary Flemming, Robert Jackson, Barb Flemming.

To quote Rev. Sean, “Shalom, Ashev, Blessed Be.  Gentle people, go in peace.”

Leaves from the Tree of Life

Some how I got the reputation as THE poet of the Tree of Life Unitarian Universalist Congregation in McHenry, Illinois largely on the strength of being pushy and obnoxious about putting myself forward at every occasion possible—worship services, special readings, coffee houses, benefit events, vigils, and demonstrations.  If folks would stand or sit still long enough, I was sure to declaim original verse in their faces.  It helped that 14 years ago Skinner House Books, a publishing arm of the Unitarian Universalist Association  (UUA) issued my little collection We Build Temples in the Heart from which a handful of poems have been regularly used in denominational services.  I also have the benefit of a platform on this blog which regularly reaches a few hundred readers and on social media.  After years of such efforts my visibility has risen to the second from the bottom rung of minor Midwest poets of the late 20th and early 21st Centuries.

But I am not the only poet in the Congregation nor, alas, even the best.

A few years ago our former minister, the Rev. Sean Parker Dennison, himself a poet, convened a regular poetry group at church.  Several members and friends signed up.  They used writing exercises and cues, and shared each other’s work in a nurturing and supportive environment that encouraged each participant to fully explore their own voices and styles.  I was invited to join the group but as a non-driver I couldn’t make the sessions.  It turns out, I wasn’t missed.

When Rev. Sean left the church, the group continued to meet.  This January they were tapped to lead a poetry service.  When the worship plans were announced some folks thought I would be in it, probably front and center braying loudly and dramatically.  Nope, the women of the Poetry Group had it covered just fine thank you.  

The service was a roaring success.  The Congregation was moved and thrilled.  And I was deeply impressed.  I had heard some of them read their work at our former Haystacks Coffee House series, but others were a complete revelation to me.

The service was accompanied by a few stapled pages of the verses that were read.  Here is a sampling.  We will begin and end poems about poetry, but don’t let that scare you.

Living Things

Our poems

Are like the wart-hogs
In the zoo

It’s hard to say

Why there should be such creatures

But once our life gets into them
As sometimes happens

Our poems

Turn into living things
And there’s no arguing
With living things

They are

The way they are

Our poems
May be rough
Or delicate
Little

Or great
But always

They have inside them
A confluence of cries
And secret languages

And always

They are improvident
And free

They keep

A kind of Sabbath

They play

On sooty fire escapes
And window ledges
They wander in and out
Of jails and gardens

They sparkle

In the deep mines
They sing

In breaking waves

And rock like wooden cradles.

—Anne Porter

Gale Harris

Gale Harris is a social worker and a talented ceramic artitist as well as a long time promoter of the arts in Woodstock with her spouse Deb Glaubke.

Lessons from a Dog

My dog has been rolling in death.
Somewhere in the dark tangle

Of the underbrush has found remains
Of a creature broken down

To its essential self.

He is ecstatic, transcendent with joy.
He wants to share the gift,

The story of this little life

He's read through smell.

I pull a fact from something I have read:

Like a piece of kibble I might
Step on with bare feet—  

It tells me that dogs roll in death to hide
Their scent from predators and prey.
That fact, alone, does not explain his joy.

And, as I carry both of us, reeking

To the bath, I think of how we humans
Share the stories of our kind

And, at their funeral feasts, retell their lives,
Laugh, cry, ecstatic in the sharing.

When I die, I want someone to roll around
In my remains, carry my scent, my stories,
Rub them on everything they love—  

Like a little black dog

Rolling in death

Transcendent in joy.

—Gale Harris

 

Sue Rekenthaller reading at a Haystacks Coffee House Open Mic.

Sue Rekenthaller and her husband Gary Gauger are truck farmers who supply vegetables to local customers and sell at Farmers’ Markets.  She is also a veteran social justice activist with special interest in sentence and prison reform, immigration reform, and homelessness.  She is a hand-on activist who visits immigration detainees in McHenry County Jail and is a mainstay of the Compassion4Campers program for the homeless.

No More

It starts as a slow gnawing-gnawing.
Up from the belly straight to the heart.

The gleaming crystal of anger is growing-growing.
My saccharin shell soon will part.

Splitting down the middle falling-falling,
Glistening chain mail rising to the sky.

Pewter sword held high over head.
My voice a roar screaming low to high.

ENOUGH. ENOUGH.
I will take no more.

My gloved hand tears your heart from your chest.
I present it to you. No more.

—Sue Rekenthaler

Jane Richards is working on a poetry collection and is also active in the Atrocious Poets which meets in Woodstock and is now sponsoring poetry readings at the Old Court House.

Desert Song

To Carlos Nakai

On your lips flute song takes flight

breath strokes the breeze

eagle dances in the wind

each inhale a dive of faith each exhale

a soaring prayer and on the updrafts,

rest.

Does your flute teach your fingers?

Can you taste the desert sand riding on each tone?

Does the sun’s heat hover inside your skin?

Will the silence beat inside you

till Spirit

calls?

—Jane Richards

April, 2017

 

Phyllis Cole-Dai

Phyllis Cole-Dai is an author, singer-songwriter, and poet who curated the mindfulness poetry blog A Year of Being Here. The group selected this poem to end the service.

On How To Pick and Eat Poems

Stop whatever it is you're doing
Come down from the attic.

Grab a bucket or basket and head for light.

That’s where the best poems grow, and in the dappled dark.

Go slow. Watch out for thorns and bears.
When you find a good bush, bow

to it, or take off your shoes.

Pluck. This poem. That poem. Any poem.

It should slip off the stem easy, just little tickle.

No need to sniff first, judge the color, test the firmness—
you can only know it's ripe if you taste.

So put a poem upon your lips. Chew its pulp.
Let the juice spill over your tongue.

Let your reading of it teach you

what sort of creature you are

and the nature of the ground you walk upon.
Bring your whole life out loud to this one poem.

Eating one poem can save you, if you're hungry enough.

Take companions poem-picking when you can.
Visit wild and lovely and forgotten places, broken

and hidden and walled up spaces. Reach into brambles,
stain your skin, mash words against your teeth, for love.
And always leave some poems within easy reach for

the next picker, in kinship with the unknown.

If ever you carry away more poems than you need,
go home to your kitchen, and make good jam.
Don’t be I a rush, they’re sure to keep.

Some will even taste better with age,

a rich batch of preserves.

Store up jars and jars of jam. Plenty for friends.

Plenty for the long, howling winter. Plenty for strangers.
Plenty for all the bread in this broken world.

—Phyllis Cole-Dal

So

But