What
a depressing collection it will
make. So many poems written about war
and terror, murder and stupid death. So much outrage,
pity, sorrow, and confusion. Poems written after the gore and red splatter. Watching the coverage from Paris unfold on the TV Friday night with waves of disgust and horror, I swore not
again! I have nothing left to say. All of
my previous words flayed at the howling
darkness and were swept away
with no notice or affect.
Murfin, thy name is futility.
So
I simply added a commemorative graphic
meme to my Facebook page and
shortly after used that gizmo that
layered the French Tri-Color over my
profile photo. I kept
my council and I grieved.
Then
I found myself scolded and shamed, along with others who had
expressed sorrow and solidarity. And not just from the Right Wing vampires who tried to paint our hands with blood because we
had not cheered and endorsed the per-emptive murder of millions.
I expected that. No, this sneering
scorn was turned on us by allies,
some much beloved, some with Reverend before their names.
Why,
they asked accusingly, did you not
decorate your page with the Cedar of Lebanon
for the dead in Beirut just the day
before, or weep for Baghdad the week before that, or the
plane load of Russian tourists
scattered over the Sinai, or the Nairobi university students last
spring? Curiously they failed to add the Doctors Without Borders hospital, refugee camps, or wedding parties blown up by American drones.
For
our sympathy for Paris we were
accused of, at best, hypocrisy and
at worst with a flagrant display white privilege
if not outright racism. When others protested the characterization,
they were charged with the new silencer of displaying White fragility.
Look,
I get it. I have written similar things, made similar
charges when my self-righteous
indignation was in full display, usually just after some ignored outrage. This is a case where all lives certainly matter.
Night clubbing young Parisians are no more worthy than a Lebanese grandmother, or even of a masked militant. All have earned their mourning. All
deserve more than just our passing pity.
But
denying my particular sorrow is like
telling us I cannot weep for my mother because
a homeless person has been laid in a
potter’s field un-mourned. Beirut, Baghdad, and Nairobi all are written
on the hearts of those who love and know them.
They are not more worthy Paris. I
would be a better man, perhaps, if I knew those cities as I have known Paris
from afar.
I
can’t help it. I know Paris. Not that I have ever been there or have any
realistic hope of ever going there. I am
the most provincial of Americans. I cannot
speak the language and stumble helplessly over the fluid words of it I encounter. I have no intimate French friends or family. But to my surprise,
I know the eternal Paris of the imagination.
So
on Sunday, the Ides of November, digesting all of this, I sat down to write
what I know. It is less a poem than a litany.
Allow
me the grace to grieve for this
without your haughty disapproval.
The Eternal
Paris of the Imagination
The Ides of
November 2015
Oh the eternal
Paris of the imagination!
of Notre Dame, hunchbacks,
and Gypsy Girls
of Cyrano and balconies
of
D’Artagnan, Athos, Aramis, and Porthos.
The Paris of the
Bastille, Liberté, égalité, fraternité
of mobs, Marat, Robespierre, and
tumbling heads,
of Bonaparte and Imperial bees,
of Empire waists and décolletage.
The Paris of the
barricades and sewers
of Jean Val Jean and Javert,
of Republicans and Monarchists,
of June Days and Bonaparte the
Second.
The Paris of
goose stepping Prussians in spiked helmets
of the Communards and National
Guard,
of Louise Michel and firing squads,
of corpses with calloused hands.
The Paris of the
Exposition Universelle and Gustave Eiffel
of La Belle Epoque, beauty and
gaiety,
of Bernhardt and La
Comédie-Française,
of Mimi and La Boheim.
The Paris of Dreyfus
and Zola,
of Blazac and Jules Verne,
of Renoir, Monet, and Degas,
of Le Grande Jatte and Rodin.
The Paris of
Lavoisier, Pasture, and Curie
of
the brothers Montgolfier, Lumière, and Renault,
of
daguerreotypes and other marvels
of
Louis Blériot and monoplanes.
The Paris of the
Moulon Rouge and le Chat Noir,
of the Can-Can and Apache,
of the Folies Bergère,
of
Collette and Gigi.
The Paris of the
poilus, blue overcoats and helmets,
of the Taxis de la Marne in long
lines,
of Lafayette, we are here,
of Versailles and the carving of the
World.
The Paris of the
Moveable Feast
of expatriates, Stein and Alice B.,
of Hemingway, Fitzgerald, and
Joyce,
of cubists and surrealists.
The Paris of
Chevalier and Josephine Baker,
of Quintette du Hot Club de France,
of Dajango Reinhardt and Stéphane
Grappelli,
of Piaf, the Little Sparrow.
The Paris that
Rick and Elsa will always have,
of Nazis and collaborators,
of the Resistance, berets, and
submachine guns,
of Liberation and flowers.
The Paris of
Existential angst,
of Sartre and Anais Nin,
of an American in Paris,
of
Belmondo, dangling Gauloises, and Bardot.
The Paris of Haute
Couture and Haute Cuisine,
of Channel and Dior,
of cafés and bistros,
of discotheques and punk rock.
The Paris of DeGaulle and OAS bombs,
of strikes and marches,
of festivals and
fireworks,
of flags and fantasy.
Paris of the
eternal imagination
let me weep with you today.
—Patrick Murfin
Perfect. Thank you. Those who scream "HYPOCRISY!" miss the entire point. They miss the sincerity and sorrow behind your words. They miss grieving for Paris.
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