I don’t want to be one of those old fuddy-duddies who bitch and moan
that everything was better in the good
ol’ days. Trust me. It wasn’t.
Take polio, segregation, child labor, and push lawn
mowers for example. And as much as I
once loved banging away on my trusty Smith-Corona,
the computer I am working on is way better
and I can get the fruits of my writing labor in front of you eyeballs
in a trice. Nifty.
But what the hell happened to picnics? I don’t mean just eating outside which
humans have been doing since they came down from trees, or wherever
they hung out before the magic pixie dust made them something a little
different than the other apes.
We have no end of cook outs and
barbeques on our private decks and patios. We munch Red Hots at ballparks. We grab fast food on the fly and have lunch at
the little tables outside, in sprawling urban plazas adorned with monumental modern sculpture, pandemic
inspired al fresco spots cleared from parking zones. There are church events, concerts, carnivals,
and family reunions. We eat outside all the time, weather
permitting, and sometimes even when it is discouraging.
It takes more than chowing
down outside for a picnic. A picnic was an event and an adventure,
the highlight of a week.
When I was a boy in Cheyenne it meant loading up my Mom’s ’51 Chevy or my Dad’s official
State of Wyoming station wagon—not
for unofficial use—and heading out on a Sunday Drive—another lost tradition.
Out from the city we would go, often
down gravel roads, in search of, I don’t know, nature of some
kind or something. May be out Happy Jack Road, Vedauwoo Canyon, along
some creek out on the Wyoming Herford Ranch, by the Tree Growing Out of the Rock along Highway 30 to Laramie, down to Colorado,
or just any enticing spot with shade and a pull off along the
road.
When we found a spot, out would come
a blanket or two to spread on the ground, which, being Wyoming, was
often a little stony, strewn with pine
needles and cones, covered in
clumps of prairie grass and
burrs. Once smoothed out to my mother’s
satisfaction we would unload the wicker
hamper, a gallon thermos jug filled
with iced tea, tin plates,
aluminum tumblers that originally came with cottage cheese in them from the milk man, red checkered napkins, and Woolworth’s stainless steel flat ware.
The menu? Glad you asked. Most likely cold fried chicken. We always had
chicken on Sunday, and it was surely a Sunday afternoon, roasted if we were home. But sometimes, for a more impromptu
picnic, just cheese sandwiches with yellow mustard and Miracle Whip cut in half and wrapped in waxed paper. Sometimes there
was a bag of potato chips—rare treat not often on Mom’s shopping
lists—or her favorite shoestring
potatoes out of a can. There
might also be in covered dishes a potato salad and Van Camp’s Pork & Beans. On
a real good day there would be a plate of deviled
eggs. For dessert, watermelon
by the slice or if it had been a cool enough week to use the oven,
a homemade cherry pie.
Generally, there was nothing that
needed cooking or heating, but once in a great while when we knew
there would be a park grill pit,
maybe wieners to roast on a sick and marshmallows to toast if we lingered
to dusk.
Not much planned for amusement. The picnic was the main fun. Maybe we would bring a rubber ball to
toss around between my twin brother Tim,
me, and Dad after eating. If there
was a running creek nearby we could roll up our jeans and go wading. We might have even brought our rods and a coffee can of worms for a little fishing. But Dad, a great fly fisherman was bored by our drowning the worms under a bobber but dared not pull out his gear
for fear of snagging one of our ears on a back cast. Besides, for him fly fishing was a holy
and solitary rite not compatible with noisy children.
Sometimes my brother and I snapped photos with our Kodak Brownies and
got back little glossy prints in a week or so from the drug store.
Wish I could find some of those pix
now.
Quite often we would go hiking
and exploring, which usually quickly became an extension of our back
yard cowboy and Indian games. If we were at Vedauwoo we would try to scamper
up the steep sides of the box
canyon. When I was twelve I broke
my ankle there, but my Mom thought I was just being whiney about
a simple turn. It was not until
it swelled to the size of a grapefruit and turned an angry,
ugly color, that she believed me and reluctantly took me to the
doctor the next day.
Few picnics ended with anything near
that drama, although there could be bickering and yelling in
the car on the way home if we were all tired and cranky. But the next week we were rarin’ to go again.
Millions of American families did
more or less the same thing going back to when buggies and farm wagons were
used instead of Chevys and substituting farm
pastures, beaches, lakes,
and city parks for
destination. Graveyards were a
surprisingly frequent choice. In
the city the family might have to lug everything on trollies or busses to
get to the park or walk for miles with everything packed in a Radio Flyer red wagon. The menu and other particulars may have
varied. But the idea was the same.
Can you imagine rounding up
children today for such an expedition?
“What are we going to do?” “Eat”
“That’s it?” “Mostly.” “There’s nothing to do!” Oh, the wails, oh, the moans. I know that after a few disastrous tries
with our daughters when they were small, we gave up.
Of course, picnics were not just for
families. They were a great cheap date. An innocent enough sounding activity that
otherwise closely watched young people often got time away from prying
eyes. It could be perfectly romantic;
it could also become a sweaty rutting ground. I suspect more than a few children were conceived
on a picnic blanket.
But no need for that now.
Of course, picnics were not even uniquely
American, we know, because a lot of French
artists found them attractive subjects and displayed that the French
often had a more adventuresome take on it than did always prudish Americans.
And even the English,
especially the gentry and toffs enjoyed a picnic outing if it was
accompanied by servants and elegant accouterments. But they always looked stiff in acres
of crinoline and huge hats for the ladies with gentlemen buttoned up in sporting wool tweeds.
I’ll take our old American version,
informality, dirt, dust, ants,
mosquitos, sunburn and all. If only
I could find one….
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